i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
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Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
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Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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