She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
