My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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