god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize