you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
