He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
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He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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