She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
