just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
