seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
