butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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