Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
