I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize