I didn't shave. On purpose
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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