The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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