Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
