If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
