I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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