im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
