your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
