we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
