I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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