Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You're a waste of cheezeits
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
