Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
