I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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