I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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