I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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