The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize