And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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