remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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