Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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