The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
