Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sext me about skeletons
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
