this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
