hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
