Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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