His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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