He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i came on her dog
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
