I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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