so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
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