I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
