why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
