There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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