just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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