Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
