Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
