She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in