talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt