i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me