Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION