You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
