I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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