You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
