I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
