They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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