Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
