If i come over, it means nothing
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
