She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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