i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Mom said you looked used
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I didn't notice because vodka
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
