it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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